Thanksgiving Turkey

Despite the hype about Butterball Turkey, I've really only been disappointed by one turkey I cooked over the years.  It was a fresh turkey and for whatever reason just did not taste the same.  Anyway, I use everything on the turkey - nuts to assholes it is either eaten at the table, in the gravy, or in the soup. So here goes.

Defrost the bastard in the refrigerator at least four full days before Thanksgiving morning.  Some take forever for some reason but it is better to be safe than sorry.  Place the turkey into the sink and throw out the instructions and that little bag of twine they give you -- for rookies.  Slap that puppy a few times -- go ahead -- feels kinds good!  Run cold water through the body making sure as you run the water through you reach in the main cavity and take out the neck (save that for the brother-in-law on Christmas Vacation) and the gizzards and place them in a pot of water on medium warm on the stove in the back and forget them for a while (think gravy and the pups! -- wait -- don't give the neck to long dogs, they get it caught in the stomach and then your daughter will razz you about it forever -- one lousy mistake in life ...)
Run water through the turkey until it is relatively clear of blood and body parts.  Make sure to check the neck cavity as well.
Bloody Marys are appropriate drink at this time as well as playing Spike Jones on the victrola!
I use about a stick of butter to place pats of butter on and in the turkey along with spraying the turkey itself with Pam to prevent sticking to the plastic cooking bag.  Salt and pepper the outside and inside lightly.
Inside the plastic cooking bag place about a handful of flour and shake it well to coat the sides of the bag.  Place the turkey in the bag -- this can be a goat rope so you may need some help here.
I use a disposable cooking pan but I also use a small rack on the bottom so the turkey does not sit in its own juices.
Whatever the cooking temperature says I usually reduce it by 50 degrees to cook it a little longer, slower, to retain as much moisture in the turkey as possible.  About an hour to 45 minutes before the turkey is supposed to be done check to see if it is turning a light brown.  If not you might want to open the bag to expose the skin for the remaining of the cooking time.
Do let the turkey sit for 30 minutes before slicing -- makes the slicing soooo much easier and the meat stays together better.
Save all the bones and all the meat and place into a giant pot filled halfway with water and let that sit on the stove and cook -- for soup.
The smaller pot with the gizzards can now be used for gravy or take the stock for gravy and cut up the heart and gizzards for the pups.  Toss the neck into the soup.  Yessssss make some soup.